Drabble #12- Past
Dec. 15th, 2014 12:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leylined[Note: this is bad end Adam, set about ten years or so into the future. Also may be a bit longer thank Drabble, but watch me give a fuck.]
"....of the revenue generated by the Eclipse model has surpassed what we projected for the fiscal year already. You made a good call in pointing out that design flaw, Parrish." Adam allowed a small nod and congenial smile. He used to be bad at this kind of thing, but he learned people felt comfortable around him, and seemed genuinely impressed with his knowledge. Personally Adam thought most of the things he pointed out in meetings such as this were obvious to anyone who paid attention, but kept it to himself. It seemed like he was gloating when nothing was farther from the truth.
"Thank you, ma'am. I'm just doing my job here. I'm sure anybody else would have done the same thing." It seemed the right thing to say, because he received a companionable smile in return. It appeared he'd done well for himself here so far. Middle management in one of the world's largest corporate conglomerates, and an integral member of one of the biggest projects the company had spearheaded to date. He was impressed, really. He felt like a crocodile among a herd of sheep, obvious, dangerous, and completely awkward in a land that still was too strange to him, but he was another step closer to achieving his dreams.
"In fact, the guys above me are so impressed, that it came down that you've been granted three weeks paid vacation, effective immediately. Congratulations! I'm actually kind of jealous." Adam smiled again at the news, but a small twist in his gut betrayed himself. He felt he didn't deserve it. Everyone played a part. He shouldn't be receiving any special attention. "I'll get everything together for the next part of the project, and send you a report maybe halfway through your time off. In the mean time, you should get yourself home so you can get everything together."
"Sounds like a good plan to me," he replied, still smiling, still fake. How did no one see that this was an act? A few last minute points and bits of small talk later, and his boss left him alone in his office to his own devices. He heaved a sigh of relief and let his eyes fall on his perfectly-maintained desk. Most people would jump at this news. He didn't even begin to know how to use it.
"You can always go home." Adam didn't even jump this time. He'd been a constant fixture in his life since he'd left Henrietta and stopped performing his duties to the ley line. Cabeswater still reached out to him from time to time. Some days it became too much to bear, but it always subsided eventually. He and the nightmares were always a constant, though.
"You know I can't. They don't want me there. They all-"
"Hate you? Parri- Adam, they couldn't hate you if they tried. None of us ever could." He couldn't bring himself to look up, but his reflection in the feaux-mahogany desk showed him what he knew was there. He was as perfect as the last time he'd seen him, laid out in his casket before a sea of people who never really knew him, or only knew part of him. Only four people could say they knew all of them, and one was responsible for his death. My fault. It was the last time he'd seen him. Or any of the others. He'd taken the last of his money and moved as far away as he could.
"I wouldn't even know what to say if I went back," he told him quietly.
"A hello goes a long way. I hate seeing you like this, Adam. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted all this time?" The words strike a chord inside him, and after a long time just breathing, he nods.
"Fine. I'll go." At last Adam stood from his desk and made his way out of the office, passing Gansey, unable to look at the sad resignation of the man he murdered. He wasn't in his funeral clothing. He rarely was. This time he was in a salmon pink polo and chinos that made him seem surreal even without the fact that he knew Gansey was dead. Gansey reached out a hand for Adam, only managing to brush a cold hand across his shoulder as he passed by.
"I'll see you at Monmouth," he tried to sound cheerful, but Adam could hear the melancholy. They both knew he was lying.
"....of the revenue generated by the Eclipse model has surpassed what we projected for the fiscal year already. You made a good call in pointing out that design flaw, Parrish." Adam allowed a small nod and congenial smile. He used to be bad at this kind of thing, but he learned people felt comfortable around him, and seemed genuinely impressed with his knowledge. Personally Adam thought most of the things he pointed out in meetings such as this were obvious to anyone who paid attention, but kept it to himself. It seemed like he was gloating when nothing was farther from the truth.
"Thank you, ma'am. I'm just doing my job here. I'm sure anybody else would have done the same thing." It seemed the right thing to say, because he received a companionable smile in return. It appeared he'd done well for himself here so far. Middle management in one of the world's largest corporate conglomerates, and an integral member of one of the biggest projects the company had spearheaded to date. He was impressed, really. He felt like a crocodile among a herd of sheep, obvious, dangerous, and completely awkward in a land that still was too strange to him, but he was another step closer to achieving his dreams.
"In fact, the guys above me are so impressed, that it came down that you've been granted three weeks paid vacation, effective immediately. Congratulations! I'm actually kind of jealous." Adam smiled again at the news, but a small twist in his gut betrayed himself. He felt he didn't deserve it. Everyone played a part. He shouldn't be receiving any special attention. "I'll get everything together for the next part of the project, and send you a report maybe halfway through your time off. In the mean time, you should get yourself home so you can get everything together."
"Sounds like a good plan to me," he replied, still smiling, still fake. How did no one see that this was an act? A few last minute points and bits of small talk later, and his boss left him alone in his office to his own devices. He heaved a sigh of relief and let his eyes fall on his perfectly-maintained desk. Most people would jump at this news. He didn't even begin to know how to use it.
"You can always go home." Adam didn't even jump this time. He'd been a constant fixture in his life since he'd left Henrietta and stopped performing his duties to the ley line. Cabeswater still reached out to him from time to time. Some days it became too much to bear, but it always subsided eventually. He and the nightmares were always a constant, though.
"You know I can't. They don't want me there. They all-"
"Hate you? Parri- Adam, they couldn't hate you if they tried. None of us ever could." He couldn't bring himself to look up, but his reflection in the feaux-mahogany desk showed him what he knew was there. He was as perfect as the last time he'd seen him, laid out in his casket before a sea of people who never really knew him, or only knew part of him. Only four people could say they knew all of them, and one was responsible for his death. My fault. It was the last time he'd seen him. Or any of the others. He'd taken the last of his money and moved as far away as he could.
"I wouldn't even know what to say if I went back," he told him quietly.
"A hello goes a long way. I hate seeing you like this, Adam. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted all this time?" The words strike a chord inside him, and after a long time just breathing, he nods.
"Fine. I'll go." At last Adam stood from his desk and made his way out of the office, passing Gansey, unable to look at the sad resignation of the man he murdered. He wasn't in his funeral clothing. He rarely was. This time he was in a salmon pink polo and chinos that made him seem surreal even without the fact that he knew Gansey was dead. Gansey reached out a hand for Adam, only managing to brush a cold hand across his shoulder as he passed by.
"I'll see you at Monmouth," he tried to sound cheerful, but Adam could hear the melancholy. They both knew he was lying.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-15 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-15 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-16 02:23 am (UTC)aka this is heartcrushing and lovely.