leylined | (no subject)

We'll know for sure when it starts raining fire tonight.

We might need lamb's blood for the door.

I think Kavinsky's a firstborn, though.

We can shove him outside.

Wait, those are the things I'm trying to not think.

No one expects you to just completely stop. Making fun of him's still allowed. He does it to us.

Right. Then we'll totally shove him outside.

Ah, we probably shouldn't. He's impure and would probably only make the gods angrier.

He'd also jabber at them incessantly and they'd send him back as defective.

"This is where sacrifices go? This is so fucking gaaaaaay. I bet you don't even have any blow here."

[She laughs really hard] "Why are you mad? You need to calm the fuck down."

[He shakes his head but keeps going.] "What do you mean? I'm not talking shit. I'm just saying that your heaven is lame as fuck and you probably don't get laid. You look like a virgin."

"I wouldn't fuck you. And quit being so mad. It could be so much worse. Dickbrain."

"You should be fucking grateful. This ass is what's keeping the world from ending."

I think we're officially awful people.

And then he just sends everyone dick pictures until they kick him out.

We didn't actually say anything untrue, though.

You get them, too?

[She might've just cackled] NO!

[He sighs.] My life has become dick pics and Murder Squash.

That is a terrible, terrible life. I am so sorry. [It's genuine sympathy, where Murder Squash is involved.]

I've managed to at east change it, mostly. But I can't get it off of the default ringtone.

[She holds a hand out] Let me see?

[He hands it over with a bemused look. ~~ohgodbluepleasedon'tfigureouthowtochangeitbecausehethinksit'sadreamphone.~~]

[She has a very low end version of the phone, so there are more bells and whistles. And it also seems like it's been tweaked to hell and back - which made sense, given that Kavinsky had given it to him. But she looks at the settings] How close are you to Kavinsky when it changes back?

We live in the same house. Does it really matter?

Considering you have Bluetooth and easy share turned on, yeah. It's probably syncing to his phone.

That dick.