leylined | (no subject)

I can honestly say that the soda smell's actually an immprovement on you, though.

Why would you do such a horrible thing to it? And yeah, starting to. It has to compete with the Pig, the Beamer, and the Honda, too. [It may be a shit car, but it's his shit car.]

Didn't know it was a competition, Lynch.

Look who's talking, grease stain.

I predict the end of the world by December of this year.

A lot of people like the smell of a body shop. Not seeing a downside here.

We'll know for sure when it starts raining fire tonight.

Fuck you. [He does like that smell, but he's not about to admit it. Instead, he takes his shirt off and tosses it on Adam's head, then heads for fridge to get another beer] I smell better than all of you bitches!

We might need lamb's blood for the door.

I think Kavinsky's a firstborn, though.

We can shove him outside.

Wait, those are the things I'm trying to not think.

[Adam just snorts and snaps his fingers in the air mockingly, tossing Kavinsky's shirt and stripping out of his as well. He follows Kavinsky to get another soda.] What scale are we using?

Because it's sexy as hell.

Two good looking guys spraying each other down with beer and soda? Of course it was a competition. White shirt next time, Parrish.

[He throws a soda at Adam's head. He isn't sure if Adam will catch it or not, but hey, whatever. Then he goes to dunk his head in the sink and get the sticky out, at least] The scale goes from worst to best, so... Parrish to Kavinsky. Obviously.

No one expects you to just completely stop. Making fun of him's still allowed. He does it to us.

It's awful. You admire Bentleys. Maybe stroke its panels lovingly every now and then. She's classy. Licking is for inferior cars.

I'll keep that in mind, O Wise One. Should I get booty shorts, too?

Right. Then we'll totally shove him outside.

[He does manage to catch it and checks Kavinsky's shoulder while he taps the top of the can a few times before opening it. Not a single drop comes bursting out.]

This system is flawed and heavily biased. We can't use that as a metric.

Ah, we probably shouldn't. He's impure and would probably only make the gods angrier.

He'd also jabber at them incessantly and they'd send him back as defective.

"This is where sacrifices go? This is so fucking gaaaaaay. I bet you don't even have any blow here."

[She laughs really hard] "Why are you mad? You need to calm the fuck down."

[He shakes his head but keeps going.] "What do you mean? I'm not talking shit. I'm just saying that your heaven is lame as fuck and you probably don't get laid. You look like a virgin."

"I wouldn't fuck you. And quit being so mad. It could be so much worse. Dickbrain."

"You should be fucking grateful. This ass is what's keeping the world from ending."

I think we're officially awful people.

And then he just sends everyone dick pictures until they kick him out.

We didn't actually say anything untrue, though.