leylined | (no subject)

[Kavinsky lets out an 'oof' when he falls, still trying to push Adam away with a hand in his face] My point is you're a bitch!

I'm offended. That was like, the fucking cornerstone of our friendship.

[Adam struggles against it while laughing, trying to force the hand back down.] Well, mine's fuck you!

That was when I found out that there might actually be something that isn't a total shitbag somewhere in there.

I'm gonna kick you in the dick! [He laughs, pushing at Adam with his leg as well, then rolls away, laughing harder]

Ninety percent shitbag, don't let anything fool you.

You wish! [He lets himself be thrown off and he lands on his back, laughing.] You'd never kick me in the dick.

I didn't say you weren't a shitbag. Just not a complete one.

Edited 2015-05-25 00:12 (UTC)

How the fuck do you know I wouldn't? [he snorts, looking over at him] After all the stupid shit I've done, that's what you think?

Yeah, and I'm rubbing off on you, shitnuts.

You know how much that hurts. The secondhand pain alone would kill you.

I hope not.

Nah, I'll probably just laugh and watch you writhe around on the ground.

See, that was a dick thing to say. Proof.

No sympathy at all. Some friend you are. [There's no malice in the words, though.]

On top of all the dick things you've said, I think that rates about a two in our collective emotional abuse.

Don't worry, I'll make a Vine and you'll be famous. I'm a great friend.

Well, you're still learning. You're the ugly duckling.

Among all the other ball kicking vids?

And one day I'll be a shitbag swan. Just like you.

I'll put a whole shit ton of other embarrassing crap on there too, don't worry.

Your day will come. Until then, you'll just have to suffer through your lame existence. You've already blown up a car, taken a bunch of pills, smashed a whole lot of expensive vodka against a house. You're in stage one.

Yeah, your embarrassing crap far outweighs mine.

[Adam glances over at him.] If stage two involves that atrocity you call music, I think I'm fine staying at stage one.

What? [he laughs] You've lost it. This would be all about you dorks. I'm not embarrassing.

Just wait till I set the sound system up. The whole warehouse will reverberate with it.

Dude, your grooming routine is a comedy act unto itself. That's all I really need.

Gansey would literally kill you.

[All the middle fingers in your face, Adam] I look fucking good, so shut the fuck up.

I think I got some points in the saving his life department. I'm gonna use them toward a sound system.

You look greasy. Cut down on the product. [Which he doesn't really, but Adam's enjoying the reaction.]

How many points do you think you have? [He's trying to erase the shocked amusement out of his voice, but it's a hard sell.]

Your face looks greasy, bitch. Since when did you become an expert on product?

Enough where I can get the sound system and get only a minor reprimand. Maybe even just a look.

Since you used the word 'product' unironically. You have a problem, Kavinsky. The first step is admitting it.

Then I'll be the one to kill you. I like being able to sleep.

You fucking said it first, dipshit! I was using your damn word!

Oh please, you fucking owe me, too.

Yeah, and not only did you get defensive, you almost sounded offended that I might know more about it than you! Just face it, you're a fucking girl.

I do not.

I did not, you fucking liar! Don't make me grind your face into Gansey's ugly boat shoes. Call me a girl again, and you're going in the shoes.

You do too.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of PMS.

That's it, Parrish. You're going down. [He grabs Adam around the neck and starts hauling him over to Gansey's space, seeking out his shoes]

Edited (wtf idek what happened there) 2015-05-27 01:00 (UTC)

[Adam digs in and starts fighting, pushing against Kavinsky and trying to trip him.] I think I saw your purse over there! You forgot to wear nail polish today!

[Kavinsky knows all about Adam's tripping trick now and keeps his feet out far away as he searches around] Oh, right there. There's a pair he probably jumps around Cabeswater in. Nice and worn in.