leylined | (no subject)

[he makes a puking sound] I'm not here to fill some weird kink of yours, Parrish. [He laughs, letting his head fall back] Right, right. You like to stick with the same pizza. And I know you're not feeding me stories, man. You're not creative enough to come up with swinging dick.

I did not! How the fuck do you figure? [Yeah, he figures he probably did, cause that's kind of his thing, but it was so long ago and he was high]

Are you sure? I'm positive you'd make the perfect little boy. [Though even saying it makes Adam's eye twitch.] Are you sure about that? You guys seem convinced I have no clue what sex is.

I figure because it happened. You tried bribing me with money and college tuition to keep from going to the hospital.

Fucking gross, you shit. Get your gross kinks away from me. [He pushes at Adam] Nah, I know you know what it is. But having one dick in your mouth once doesn't make you an expert.

[He laughs, because its vaguely coming back to him] And if you would've taken it, you could be partying instead. What was it up to, a hundred thousand?

What's the matter, little Joey? Miss your nap time? [He laughs and punches him in the arm.] I never said I was an expert but you think I'm a virgin.

Something like that. That whole night was beyond ridiculous.

Edited 2015-05-24 11:09 (UTC)

Don't fucking call me that! [He grabs Adam's arm and pushes at his face] Well, you were always the type to be all... 'Oooh, nooo, I have to love you before you stick your dick in me. We have to go on a hundred dates so I can see if your personality matches my soul'

Please, that's the day you knew you couldn't live without me.

Does Joey Bear need a snack? [He starts laughing while smacking back with his free hand.] No, I never said I had to be in love. All I said was that I wanted to actually know who I was going to be doing it with.

I wanted to strangle you that whole night, K.

I'll give you a fucking snack, right up your ass. [He laughs, trying to reach around to kick Adam's ass] You barely knew him!

You did not! You had fun. When did you ever get to do that before? And you got a fucking car out of it!

That's what I like to hear, Joeypie. [Adam yelps and grabs his leg in an attempt to make Kavinsky fall over.] Well enough! Better than a lot of people you've been with!

[Adam just blinks because he still remembers it clearly.] I got a headache from dealing with an idiot kid who broke his ribs in a wreck and probably got lost heading to his own room, bribed to get out of Henrietta, and then had a car I didn't ask for forced on me. That night we probably had a better understanding of each other, but in no way was that a fun night, dude.

Edited 2015-05-24 20:29 (UTC)

Yeah you just wait, it'll be a big snack, too. [He hops around, holding on to Adam's arm, still trying to kick at him] But I never claimed any different!

[He snorts, rolling his eyes] Whatever, man. It was fun for me. What would you have done instead? Sat at home and watered your plants?

[Adam's still laughing trying to force Kavinsky onto his ass.] Just give up already! My point still stands!

Probably. Or maybe I would have caught up on my sleep which I so desperately needed.

[If he's going down, he's taking Adam with him, trying to wrap his leg around him in a way so that happens] You didn't even have a point!

My company is better than sleep, believe me.

[Adam yelps as they lose balance and fall over, but he's quick to recover, already trying to pull him into a headlock.] My point was I knew him well enough!

Yeah, no. Sleep would have been much preferred.

[Kavinsky lets out an 'oof' when he falls, still trying to push Adam away with a hand in his face] My point is you're a bitch!

I'm offended. That was like, the fucking cornerstone of our friendship.

[Adam struggles against it while laughing, trying to force the hand back down.] Well, mine's fuck you!

That was when I found out that there might actually be something that isn't a total shitbag somewhere in there.

I'm gonna kick you in the dick! [He laughs, pushing at Adam with his leg as well, then rolls away, laughing harder]

Ninety percent shitbag, don't let anything fool you.

You wish! [He lets himself be thrown off and he lands on his back, laughing.] You'd never kick me in the dick.

I didn't say you weren't a shitbag. Just not a complete one.

Edited 2015-05-25 00:12 (UTC)

How the fuck do you know I wouldn't? [he snorts, looking over at him] After all the stupid shit I've done, that's what you think?

Yeah, and I'm rubbing off on you, shitnuts.

You know how much that hurts. The secondhand pain alone would kill you.

I hope not.

Nah, I'll probably just laugh and watch you writhe around on the ground.

See, that was a dick thing to say. Proof.

No sympathy at all. Some friend you are. [There's no malice in the words, though.]

On top of all the dick things you've said, I think that rates about a two in our collective emotional abuse.

Don't worry, I'll make a Vine and you'll be famous. I'm a great friend.

Well, you're still learning. You're the ugly duckling.

Among all the other ball kicking vids?

And one day I'll be a shitbag swan. Just like you.

I'll put a whole shit ton of other embarrassing crap on there too, don't worry.

Your day will come. Until then, you'll just have to suffer through your lame existence. You've already blown up a car, taken a bunch of pills, smashed a whole lot of expensive vodka against a house. You're in stage one.

Yeah, your embarrassing crap far outweighs mine.

[Adam glances over at him.] If stage two involves that atrocity you call music, I think I'm fine staying at stage one.

What? [he laughs] You've lost it. This would be all about you dorks. I'm not embarrassing.

Just wait till I set the sound system up. The whole warehouse will reverberate with it.