For fucking_kavinsky

[leylined]

Adam's time at school has been just as frustrating as it had been at school. He'd gotten used to the regular dynamic that had been built up over the past month, of Gansey-Lynch-Parrish-Kavinsky. Now it's Lynch-Kavinsky, or Gansey-Lynch, but never all four of them. The classes they share are especially straining, because Adam has to sit next to the other three in places with assigned seating but the fact that they aren't talking and pointedly trying not to pay attention to one another doesn't go unnoticed. It's even worse when the other students pick up on the fact in places with unassigned seating, and Adam's in his own corner while Ronan or Kavinsky are in another entirely. Others stare. They talk as if Adam can't hear them, and all he can think is pariah. This is the consequences of what we've done.

He's glad when the school day is over and Adam's released from after school activities, trying to find Gansey but is almost instantly rebuffed. We have to go to the psychics. Adam would have gone with them, but Ronan's already leaving, and that's a spot he doesn't want to be part of. Not when their problems are something that would take more than a twenty minute drive to get over.

When he points out that he rode with Gansey that morning, Kavinsky as his ride is almost immediately put forth and Adam freezes. He and Kavinsky haven't been talking, which in some ways is worse than when they were fighting. It's like their whole relationship has been restarted back beyond even square one, where Adam was a nobody and Kavinsky only second to Gansey in school notoriety. He doesn't know how to handle this.

Still, he bucks up and seeks the other boy out, telling Kavinsky what's going on.

Comments

[fucking_kavinsky]

"So what if I had? What do you care?" Kavinsky says, an echo of what Adam said at him back in the car. He remembers the hospital, going there with Adam. They weren't friends back then, and he wonders if they're friends now. "I've done way worse."

"Ow," he rubs at his back, wanting to complain about how Adam did more damage trying to yank him back, than if he had fallen out the window, but that's stupid and he just wants Adam to stop being mad at him.

[leylined]

Adam scoffs. "What do I care?" As if it's obvious, and Adam thinks it is. He looks exasperated, and a little tired. He lets go entirely and rolls away from Kavinsky with a huff. This wasn't at all how he thought this day would be. "You are such an asshole."

[fucking_kavinsky]

"Yeah, what do you care? You're the one fucking writing me off, Parrish." He moves back too, because there's no reason to be close to Adam if he's pulling back too. "Wow, newsflash. So are you."

[leylined]

"I'm not writing you off. I was pissed. And you keep shoving what I said back in my face before I can do anything about it." He sits up and leans up against Kavinsky's bed, his eyes on the floor. "This needs to stop."

[fucking_kavinsky]

"Oh, excuse me. Let me twiddle my thumbs and wait around for you to do something about it." He snaps right back, then sits himself up, across from Adam on the floor. "So stop it, then."

[leylined]

Adam looks at him, annoyed that Kavinsky is still acting like a shit about it. He knows it's irrational, but it irritates him that Kavinsky's irritated. He quells the feeling, though. "I'm sorry, okay? I was worked up that night. We all were. You just happened to be there. I don't blame you for anything."

[fucking_kavinsky]

Kavinsky doesn't say anything to that, because there really isn't anything to say. It's bullshit. The whole thing is bullshit.

"Oh, I jut happened to be there. Just like I have been all this fucking time. I'm there, Parrish. I'm there, I'm here, and it doesn't fucking matter." None of this matters and he knows it. He pushes himself up, rubbing at his nose. "Lets just fuckin'... order a pizza or some shit. Just hang out, whatever."

[leylined]

Adam's eyes narrow. "See? This is exactly what I meant. I apologize and you still find a way to turn it around on me." He stands up at the same time as Kavinsky and catches the rubbing of his nose. "Did you-? Again? Really?" His anger starts coming back up, but he hasn't forgotten what had just happened outside, and why Adam was curled up next to the doorway of Monmouth.

"Unbelievable." So rather than risk a reprisal of everything that had just gone down, he shakes his head in disappointment and makes his way out of the room, heading downstairs.

[fucking_kavinsky]

"As if that was a fucking sincere apology. I'm not stupid." And just when he's ready to just brush the whole thing off anyway, Adam comes at him again, making him feel like the same worthless, piece of shit junkie who is never there for anyone, even though he always is now, time and time again.

"What!? What the fuck did I do!?" Kavinsky stands there as Adam shakes his head and leaves, offer of hanging out and friendship revoked. He's never felt so disgusted in his life. He put his time, his care, his trust in these people. He wanted friends, but these aren't friends. These people are worse than the ones he had before. Those people didn't lie to him.

He wonders why it mattered so much if he was going to crawl out the window and go to the roof. He wonders if Adam would have cared if he knew Kavinsky snorted coke. He wonders if Adam even realizes that he's the reason he did it in the first place.

He kicks the door shut and stares at it angrily, wanting to hurt something. He stares at it so long he feels like it might explode, so he yanks it open again and heads out, getting back in his car and drives fast, as fast as he can. He hopes he ends up slamming himself into a tree.