leylined | (no subject)

How the fuck do you figure?

I have the Batmobile and I've saved your ass more than you've saved mine? Face it, you're one "Golly, Adam!" from being my Robin.

I fucking gave you that car, you dick! And I wouldn't exactly call driving me to the hospital for a broken rib saving my life. You haven't saved it ever, really.

I said I saved your ass, not your life. We haven't really been in a lethal situation for me to save it. So there's that, keeping you from failing English, helping you connect with the Boone stuff, making that sledding thing better...

It's fine being Robin. He's cooler, anyway.

Fuck off, Those things all could have been done without you, Parrish.

How the fuck do you figure?

Maybe. Maybe not. But I still helped you out with that stuff.

Batman's this huge, emotionally stunted ass that can't hold down any relationships, platonic or otherwise. Meanwhile Robin's constantly getting girls and doing fun things as an adult and even as a teenager.

Whatever, man. I've helped you out plenty of fucking times too. [which is an odd thing to admit and now he wishes he just didn't. It's weird to think he's helping them]

Oh, well then, I'm definitely Robin. You're like, the cat, or something.

I know you have. But I'm not a stupid cat!

Fine, you're the butler. [he smirks] Grab me a beer while you're up.

The butler's the best one. [He goes off to get Kavinsky a beer and a soda for himself, shaking up the can before he comes back, barely able to contain his smirk.] Will that be all, sir?

I can make you a list of all the shit I need you to get done. My homework, for one. Learning Latin is taking up a whole hell of a lot of time and I don't.. [he opens the beer and it sprays all over him] You fucking dick! [He gapes] You did that on purpose!

I have no clue what you're talking about. [He's in position to get ready to run, though.]

Oh, you're in deep shit now. [First thing Kavinsky does is turn the can on Adam, flinging beer out at him, then he's grabbing at him so he can get the rest down Adam's shirt]

Ah, you shit! [He's shaking the soda can now and cracking it open in Kavinsky's face.]

Fuck! Gross! [He coughs and laughs,trying to jam the can down Adam's shirt]

[Adam has a different tactic, just spraying him anywhere he can see an opening.]

[He's trying to block the sprays while taking Adam down, and he just gets sprayed a lot more in the face like that] I'm gonna... [cough cough] Get my bird to attack you, fuck face. In the middle of the night, or when you're taking a piss!

Not gonna happen! [He splutters and just squeezes the rest over Kavinsky's head while trying to get the beer out of his shirt.] I feed it some of my food. Blowtorch loves me.

[Which he doesn't know for sure, but all's fair.]

[The fucking hair, Adam. Not the fucking hair] I'm gonna get you back two fold.

Wait... you do not feed Blowtorch! He doesn't like you at all! He knows who my friends and foes are. [He headbutts Adam to get all the shit off of his hair]

[He yelps and shoves Kavinsky back, finally fishing the can out and trying to get what little's left of it all over the other boy.] He especially likes ham and catching bugs downstairs. You sure it isn't a traitor?

He sure as fuck isn't a traitor and he's only eating your ham so I can blame you when he turns into a carnivorous bird and eats all the rest of you. [He empties out the rest of his beer on Adam, too] You smell like a drunk!

I can honestly say that the soda smell's actually an immprovement on you, though.

Look who's talking, grease stain.

A lot of people like the smell of a body shop. Not seeing a downside here.

Fuck you. [He does like that smell, but he's not about to admit it. Instead, he takes his shirt off and tosses it on Adam's head, then heads for fridge to get another beer] I smell better than all of you bitches!