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This message is for Adam Parrish. It's his lover, informing him that he needs to get a cellphone. Call back ASAP.
Man, that's deep. Are you sure about that?
Kinda wish I could've seen their faces. I got your number from Lynch's phone, obviously. I didn't know you lived in a church. Are you training to be a priest, or something?
Oh, well if you had a cellphone, it wouldn't be a problem, now would it. I read the book. That shit was crazy.
Toodles! [he snickers when Adam hangs up]
[Kavinsky looks up from where he's sprawled out on the couch, eyebrows raised] Hey, man. You sound a little constipated. You know they got pill for that, right?
Edited 2014-11-09 23:17 (UTC)
I just spent an hour trying to convince an old nun and a priest that no, I'm not engaged in a homosexual relationship and no, I'm not engaging in sexual activity before marriage!
[He drops his boxes unceremoniously on the floor as soon as he can find a clear spot. The following account is completely untrue and is being used entirely to fuck with Kavinsky.]
They also didn't believe a word I said, so guess who's homeless now?
[He drops his boxes unceremoniously on the floor as soon as he can find a clear spot. The following account is completely untrue and is being used entirely to fuck with Kavinsky.]
They also didn't believe a word I said, so guess who's homeless now?
[Kavinsky snorts] Well, I doubt they could believe the first part, but the second... yeah, you're a very believable virgin.
[Kavinsky's gaze moves to the boxes, then flies right back to Adam's face] They kicked you out? For being a fag?
Whoops?
[Kavinsky's gaze moves to the boxes, then flies right back to Adam's face] They kicked you out? For being a fag?
Whoops?
"We don't feel comfortable with you using the church attic as an apartment, Mr. Parrish, especially with you being unbaptized and no apparent intention to convert to the faith. And if we are misreading the situation, this is still a place where we comport ourselves professionally. We can't have calls like that coming through our lines."
So now I have twenty-four hours to find a new place in the middle of the month, with barely enough money to feed myself for the next week. You happy?
So now I have twenty-four hours to find a new place in the middle of the month, with barely enough money to feed myself for the next week. You happy?
Man, come on. I didn't even curse. I barely fucking said anything on there.
That money shit is your fault, suckass. You don't fucking listen to people. Are you gonna tell everyone I made you homeless, or something?
That money shit is your fault, suckass. You don't fucking listen to people. Are you gonna tell everyone I made you homeless, or something?
Listen, if they're gonna be bitches about it... [He sits upright, scratching his fingers through his hair, considering the options] Fine. Lets go.
[Adam doesn't even respond, instead just heading out of Monmouth and out to his car before driving them back to St. Agnes. He doesn't say anything the whole way there and acknowledges him only long enough to hand Kavinsky the keys to the Bentley and to let him into the apartment.
There's not much left at all, just the tools and plants that he and Gansey had recently bought, Steve the rubber tree plant, and his bed, but those things couldn't make it in the first trip.]
There's not much left at all, just the tools and plants that he and Gansey had recently bought, Steve the rubber tree plant, and his bed, but those things couldn't make it in the first trip.]
[Kavinsky toys with the radio on the way there, complains about how shit the car is, how shit the music is and how much better life would be if they were in the Bentley. When the keys get handed back to him, he dangles them in Adam's face] You're still keeping it, right? You're keeping it cause it's yours.
[He glances around to see if he can spot any of those uptight nuns, or whoever was bothering Adam about his completely appropriate phone call] You live here? Where's all your shit?
[He glances around to see if he can spot any of those uptight nuns, or whoever was bothering Adam about his completely appropriate phone call] You live here? Where's all your shit?
[He pokes at the plant, then looks at Adam] You sure you don't want me to go with you? I can five 'em a piece of my mind. [He smirks, but Adam is already out the door and Kavinsky starts putting things together to take down to the car. He piles it all into the Bentley]
[The sound of animated talking and laughter heralds Adam's return with one of the nuns.]
Are you certain there's nothing else you need, Mr. Parrish?
Oh no, ma'am. My friend and I have everything covered from here. Thank you, though.
It's been a pleasure having you here these past few months. I do hope that we see you around here in the future. If not mass, then one of the events we'll be having. You should be here for Thanksgiving. I'm sure everyone would love to have you.
I'll see what's going on then, ma'am.
Alright, then. Have a good evening! If we find anything else after you've gone, we'll call Ronan and let him know. Oh! And tell your friend we had a good laugh from that call.
I will. You have a good evening, too.
[And then he enters the apartment with a shit-eating grin on his face.]
Thanks, Kavinsky. This went a lot quicker than if it was just me.
Are you certain there's nothing else you need, Mr. Parrish?
Oh no, ma'am. My friend and I have everything covered from here. Thank you, though.
It's been a pleasure having you here these past few months. I do hope that we see you around here in the future. If not mass, then one of the events we'll be having. You should be here for Thanksgiving. I'm sure everyone would love to have you.
I'll see what's going on then, ma'am.
Alright, then. Have a good evening! If we find anything else after you've gone, we'll call Ronan and let him know. Oh! And tell your friend we had a good laugh from that call.
I will. You have a good evening, too.
[And then he enters the apartment with a shit-eating grin on his face.]
Thanks, Kavinsky. This went a lot quicker than if it was just me.
[Kavinsky is staring at the door, eyebrows high] You fucker.
They weren't kicking you out, were they. You were gonna come to Monmouth either way? [Not that he felt bad about it. Nope]
They weren't kicking you out, were they. You were gonna come to Monmouth either way? [Not that he felt bad about it. Nope]
I have no clue what you mean. They were kicking me out. I gave them a notice that I was moving as soon as we got back. Now, the reason why that was hapeening may have been stretched a bit, but it's still true. I did have the most embarrassing conversation with them after they got that message.
Mother Superior says she enjoyed your joke, by the way.
Mother Superior says she enjoyed your joke, by the way.
Aw, were they proud that their little gay was growing up? [He snorts, kicking the bed] Are we taking this too? It's kind of a piece of shit.
I bet Mother Superior would think it even more funny if she saw it was me.
I bet Mother Superior would think it even more funny if she saw it was me.
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