"We don't feel comfortable with you using the church attic as an apartment, Mr. Parrish, especially with you being unbaptized and no apparent intention to convert to the faith. And if we are misreading the situation, this is still a place where we comport ourselves professionally. We can't have calls like that coming through our lines."

So now I have twenty-four hours to find a new place in the middle of the month, with barely enough money to feed myself for the next week. You happy?